So today I came home with such a heavy heart. Teaching middle school is challenging! Teaching middle school in an urban setting – surrounded by poverty, drugs, fights, absent parents, etc) is even more challenging. It is a tough, but at times a rewarding gig. But some days….
This afternoon I had, in my opinion, a less than pleasant interaction with a co-worker and it has really brought me down. Six hours later I am still carrying around the weight of feeling disrespected and I can’t seem to shake it.
And as I sit here, I’m thinking things like “I really need to find another job” or “Just wait until I see her next week and tell her what I really think about her.” But here’s the problem with both of those thoughts. I don’t want to find another job. That school is my own mission field. I am certain that God hand-picked me for this place. And I know that in very small ways I share Jesus with them by just loving on them. And I’m not going to tell her anything that is not of God…because as a Christ follower I am to reflect Christ in all of my actions and words. And what on really think is maybe she was having a lousy day. Maybe she is dealing with more than I know. Maybe she needs someone to share Gods love with her.
It’s amazing what happens when I stop trying to manage life on my own and actually let go and let God show me what my life should look like. God speaks to me in so many ways. Today, in the midst of my struggles, my husband sent me this verse…”The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14. It was precisely what I needed to hear. And though it came in the form of a text message from Brian, I’m certain that God placed Brian in my life to journey with me through this life. As I sit here and type I am enveloped In sense of calm and comfort. I’m certain that God is here with me…”For God has said,’I will never fail you.I will never abandon you.’”
I know that in each and every encounter God is teaching me a lesson, helping me grow, or simply displaying His love for me. I am grateful for the tears that flow from trying times, because I know that out of those tears come joy. And while there are days that I question my place in such a challenging school, I know that this is God’s plan for me. God called me to this place to do good.
1 Peter 2:21 “For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.”